His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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