I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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