I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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