I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
