I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize