You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
