Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
