the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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