She's JV to your varsity
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
