My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
