I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Ladies don't puke and tell
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
