Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
The air taste purple.
Randomize
