i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
