I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
