so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
