I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
