I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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