Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
