That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i drank out of a bidet.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
