he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
