Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
