planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
