mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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