Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
