Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
