new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
