I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
