he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
