I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
