i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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