peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
