the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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