Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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