i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
