ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
