how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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