Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
