i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
