guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
