no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
