Hey man sorry I got all grabby
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Randomize
