Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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