Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
