i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
