And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
