did you get engaged???
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can you bring me the toilet please
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
