No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
