I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
