vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
