i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
