dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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