Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
