At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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