Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
