I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
