if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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