If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
