and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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