I smell stomach acid.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
